DON’T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT!

 The lecturer is late to come to class and I’m really troubled right now. Let me put it down easily for you so that you can comprehend. Never ever (even though he is the last man standing on earth) date your classmate or worse yet get an attaching relationship that will leave you drained once you get out of it. So let’s say, vaguely that I had this type of an unhealthy relationship with a guy in my class last semester and now that we are basically not talking to each other, it’s pretty draining for me. I get this moments when my heart beats on over drive when I get a hint of his voice circulating somewhere about class and I behave as if I have not heard a thing. Just now, he has announced something about the registering for units and I am more than ecstatic because I have already registered so I don’t have to go around him any time soon.

Just the other day, the lecturer gave us something to discus in class and she told us to turn to the desk adjacent to ours. Hell! He was on that bench! Lucky for me, the bench in front of ours defiled the lecturer and turned to our desk. If not, I would have been forced to exchange those weird attempts of small talk that never really work out.

I also get these moments when I look about class just lazing, you know, letting your mind wander or simply scanning the class for the guy whom I had given my notes then our eyes kind of meet and I feel as if my heart wants to chuck from my rib cage! I mean literally chuck from it through my mouth before I hurriedly look away as if my eyes have been burnt. If that’s not enough, I get these heat flushes the moments he participates in class. All this blood rushes so close to my skin I can hear it in my ears and I feel as if the air conditioning just broke down sometime in January. Trust me it’s not a pretty feeling.

Nowadays I always get in class when the lecturer has arrived and chuck as soon as he says bye. I abstain from hanging with our previous crowd (thank God for the library!) I just go there to be alone in the name of assignments and study when the real reason is the fact that I don’t want to see him. As I type this, I’m praising the heavens since this is my last semester and I’ll be off to do my degree. Then, I’ll be wiser with how to deal with guys-never get attached at least not to any of your classmates! Now I know!

I’m Velma btw. The unqualified school girl!

                               

2013 I DRINK TO THAT

Okay so once more we are within the wake of a new year. Everyone has resolutions this resolutions that but I don’t make resolutions I don’t intend to follow and even if I make one that I will implement, I actually do it on my new year i.e on my birthday because the world turning one year older doesn’t mean I have to change my way of life as much as myself turning a year. So I will tell you my resolution when we come to that bridge(sorry to the curious souls) but for now I just wanted to wish you all a happy new year! 2012 is gone and 2013 is on baby! All the weird prophecies of he apocalypse have not come to pass phew! And it’s a wake of a new year that you get to breathe God’s air and tread his soil. For that we say thank you to the almighty and to all my girls and guys lets drink to that.

This here is to my girls, the crazy fruit salad days and the nights we used to text away, this is to my guys, the true ones who didn’t start catching feelings for me in the middle of the year for the many laughs, hangouts, machismo contents and all, this goes to all my classmates in DBIT Strathmore university, the hard times in programing and the easy times in Kigen’s classes, this is to my family, missing me all the way in Nakuru as I type a blog in the name of programing, this is to all the Kenyans out there and the world at large. Today a good friend of ours who has been taking care of us without fail is turning a year older and it is so nice of you to come out to celebrate it. Cheers to mother earth.

Im Velma by the way. The unqualified drunk.

THE FOREVER LIE

Imperfect beings unlike gods we lie,

Such frailty not akin to gods coz we die,

So please don’t speak to me about forever,

Coz unlike gods delivering that you will never.

Forever is an illusion, a well told lie,

We only have between now and when we say bye,

May your lips speak not of love to eternity,

Coz you are human you can’t deliver immortality/

I LOVE MY POETRY!!!!

TEXT OF THE SEASON

I love text messages coz they are just so creative. This Christmas I got a variety of interesting texts including one that sent me m-mbuzi via mpesa and told me to retrieve it at any butchery. My favorite although was one that started like a normal holiday special corny text ‘I’m wishing you peace love and good health this Christmas and in the new year blah blah blah(the Dracula way) f&%# that shit! I wish you lots of mad sex, alcohol, love and win the f%$@ing lottery in 2013!’ First I was like what? Then I was like huh? Then I took it slow stopped judging him and realized that among all the people who had texted me their holiday wishes none of them was quite as honest (and also lets face it, no one else wished me luck in the lottery which I don’t participate in but I still appreciate the gesture)

My sister hates the festive season because everyone around her is just so freaking happy for no reason in particular, my mum doesn’t like them because everyone comes visiting and that means more kitchen work for her, my father doesn’t like hem coz hey mean spending his hard earned cash. I think the only person in the whole house who really enjoys the festive season in my 10 year old sister.  She gets to travel, eat good, get visited by the cousins who make a nursery in the house and above all get dotted upon with a potpourri of gifts.

Most people, even though they kind of enjoy themselves don’t exactly love Christmas and he new years so I was wondering why is it that there seems to be no one with the guts to say so? Maybe it’s the society we live in, who knows? Maybe I’m also a coward like you. Or maybe I actually do like Christmas it’s just that I don’t have the balls to declare it. Who knows?

In Velma by the way. The unqualified texter.

I LOVE THE WAITITU FAMILY

I know I know, nimelost and all but cut me some slack kidogo. My last semester was a brain killer and I have this feeling that this semester will not be any better. So I finished last sem at a very high note considering nilikua nimemaliza assignments zote na maexams were kinda nice to me. When I got home from the hustle and bustle of Nairobi, things juz got better. Infact they go so good I even forgot about ma blog for a while.

So we were supposed to go to my uncle’s resort earlier in the year but it was postponed till the school year was over and I have to admit that I was ecstatic. So my 2^nd uncle George Waititu owns this multimillionaire castle like resort in Laikipia just next to my grandma’s so we all go there as a family for a retreat as we see our grangparents. It was pretty awesome and I recommend that you check it out www.tafaria.com it has a nice fairtale theme all once upon a dream like sleeping beauty. Im telling you if you love the classics that is the place for you!

and she met prince charming, once upon a dream......

During our weekend getaway there, my cousin underwent the cut…..if you know what I mean and it was a cause for celebration. I have this quire family that insists on sticking to tradition even though they have been clearly eroded and this initiation ceremony was pretty excruciating for him. My cousin goes to a British system school so imagine him being taught how to slaughter the bull and all! Nilimhurumia. Although at the end of the day it was pretty awesome and though I didn’t do all the things that I wanted to do during the holidays(which included creating a dance clip with ma siz and posting it on youtube), at least I learnt 1 thing: family is the most important thing in life. And I have that. A nice awesome, sometimes lazy but all the same perfect family that I love with the whole of my heart. Though I don’t have much, I’m happy with my family. 
I'm Velma btw. the unqualified family guy.