THE ONE!!

I know all the ladies will probably hide this link and read it secretly then delete it from history and my fellas will also read this probably on your pal’s machine so it can’t be traced back to you but ideally everyone has an idea of ‘THE ONE’. For ladies he has been portrayed as ‘prince charming’ a fairytale character to come swoop you off your feet into ‘Andalasia’ the world of constant love and happiness

 or ‘Knight in Shining Armor’ otherwise known as K.I.S.A to come rescue you from your world of constant misery otherwise known as reality.

 For the fellas I don’t really know what appeals but I have a feeling it has a lot to do with arse and boobs and porn star moves and lucky for me this is a post for the ladies since I’m lost when it comes to men.

Very few ladies will admit but their most favorite song in Lion King isn’t ‘hakuna matata’ but ‘can’t you feel the love’ its okay no need to refuse coz no matter how hood you believe you are you have a concept of your it guy call it ‘LEGEND OF THE ONE!’ i know you are wondering why it is a legend well that’s simple. Just think of your ideal guy. Put in some vivid description of his face structure, his eyes, his mouth, his body oh the body then put in some character and personality. Good now tell me does he exist in this world or is he a legend like a novel character? Correct! It’s the latter.

A girl once told me that her dream guy is dark haired blue eyed (please refer to Clark Kent) who has a vast comprehension of Spanish and French. He should also appreciate the martial arts and be a black belt at ninjutsu atop his mad love for heart felt literature. To top it all off, he should trace back his roots to Kogelo (refer to Barrack Obama). After our conversation I sadly looked at her and recommended a convent coz if she wanted such a man she would never marry and why waste a celibate life? Better dedicate it to the Lord. Now that ladies is a legend.

Being a girl means I also have a legend. We created this legend with my sister and its kitty pool shallow so please do not judge me by it. Btw its coded but I’ll decode. “how can a dude come up to me and start vibing me when he is T.M.M, T.F.S, M.F.P, and to top it all off he is S.L.K. damn girl I was so embarrassed he was like so S.N.S.” that’s a typical lament on a so not the one guy. Now let’s decode.

T.M.M  too much melanin (hell no to wasudy-no offense)

T.F.S      too f#@%ing short (to hell with Zacheus-no offense 2 them Zacheuses)

M.F.P    mother f#@%ing poor (if u ain got no money take your broke a## home)

S.L.K      scrawny little kid (go back to mama and grow up!)

Pretty shallow huh? But that’s just it. When defining the one he doesn’t have to be realistic coz you will never find him either way. All humans are imperfect so no thing as perfect guy. In that case dream away and create the most shallow list of all time on your LEGENDARY ONE.

Oh by the way, I’m Velma, the unqualified ONE.