My demons

Have you ever had a bizzare dream about someone that you hurt. Let's just say that i broke someone's heart and it is haunting me even in my dreams. I was jolted from my dream at 4 am today and i wrote this to him. In case they are out there listening to me pouring out my soul
"I dreamt of u tonight! Again 4 the upteenth time u slipped into ma mind wen my guard ws down. How u ask. So my dad got a new 4ne and i was realy excited coz it has all these awesome features that wen i went 2 bed last night, i put on some music. I've juz realised that evanescence was playing before i fell asleep and other than bleach, Amy Lee's voice is another thing that reminds me constantly of you. Why do you haunt me so? It's 4.25am and i hav clas @ 8 so i nid 2 sleep. I'll tel u the rest kesho. Til then, ths r the cronicles of my pride.
And when later came, i described the dream "You were seated on the couch next to the chaise longue and i came and pulled you by the hand into the kitchen. I stopped right infront of the sink, put my arms around u and embraced u." Inocently as friends do. Its amaizing that even after all this while my feelings towards you are pure. You would have thought i should hate you like you do me but i do not and not once not twice i have looked at my 4ne wondering "why dont i text him?" Then i remember why. Its coz u dont dont feel the same way about me. Its either you hate me like u do now or u want more than i am willing to give. Or maybe then again its juz my pride that cant let me divert from my life's trajectory. My big arse pride that makes it impossible to give and take love. Or may be its coz i am an unfeeling,  scientific and rational intj? Who really knows? All in all, this is Velma the unqualified dreamer.